RADIO TRANSCRIPTS
Howard Stern
14 May 2007

HOWARD: Jimmy Kimmel is with us, Jimmy live weeknights at 12:05, ABC. I’m happy to have as my guest Hanson.

TAYLOR: Hey, thanks for having us.

HOWARD: All grown up.

TAYLOR: Yes, yes.

ROBIN: Yeah, what happened?! You didn't come on when you were young!

HOWARD: We were trying to get you guys in here.

ZAC: I think it might have been dangerous for us to come on.

HOWARD: I think your parents might have stepped in.

ROBIN: Thought better of it.

TAYLOR: Somebody that was smart at that particular point and was like, “You know what…”

ZAC: That might be scarring for an eleven year old.

JIMMY: I think it's a mistake now, to be honest with you.

ROBIN: You know it could be!

HOWARD: I think you're too young! Come back in ten years, then you'll be ready.

ZAC: We are psyched to be here.

HOWARD: Boys, what’s it like? How did you get discovered? Was your mom pushing you into this whole thing?

TAYLOR: You know what? We just were completely overzealous, I think.

ISAAC: I think we kind of had the antithesis of stage parents. It was kind of like we were dragging them to the gigs, not the other way around.

ZAC: Well clearly we had a lot of help. I mean, I was 6 when we started singing. We played our first gig when I was 6.

HOWARD: I was always so angry with you guys. You were young and you were probably getting laid more than I was.

ROBIN: No they weren't…

HOWARD: And I equate everything in my world with who's getting laid and who isn't.

ZAC: Sure. Right.

HOWARD: Okay, you were six. Maybe you weren’t getting laid. Hand jobs, maybe. I don't know what you were getting.

ROBIN: Who started them with instruments? I mean who told you to pick up a guitar?

ZAC: I think it was Isaac, you wanted to play guitar. Because he loved Chuck Berry. So he’s like, “I want to play guitar.”

ISAAC: I was obsessed with "Johnny B Goode." The first stuff I heard was like 1958 stuff like you know, Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Eddie Cochran.

ROBIN: And then you got the other guys into it? Said, “You play this!” and, “You play that?”

TAYLOR: Actually the greatest story about it is the fact that we started writing songs when we were just singing. We had like a guitar, keyboard…

HOWARD: Who wrote “MMMBop?”

ISAAC: Just the three of us.

ZAC: We wrote it when I was 8.

HOWARD: Just screwing around and you wrote that... boy, that’s great.

ROBIN: You wrote a hit song when you were 8, huh?

HOWARD: That's crazy.

ZAC: Well people go, “MMMBop?! Where did you make up MMMBop?!” Well, we listened to doo-wop music when we were growing up. That makes perfect sense.

HOWARD: Did your dad beat you like Michael Jackson’s dad?

TAYLOR: No!

HOWARD: That guy really knew how to really work that Jackson 5.

ZAC: He did, didn’t he?

TAYLOR: Yeah, he was definitely… he was a piece of work.

HOWARD: He was good.

ZAC: It was like a good dog team (makes whipping noise)

HOWARD: So nobody beat you?

ZAC: No beating.

ISAAC: No, I don’t think our dad would understand that. He was the guy that like, he would come home from work and like my ma would be like, “The kids, they were like they were totally like screwing up today!” And then he'd like… he'd be like, “Okay, come back here…” and then he'd pretend like he was suppose to give us a swat or something like that.

HOWARD: But you guys were clearly way more talented than any of the kids in your high school. You guys actually had a professional sound.

ROBIN: Well, they weren't even in high school! He was 8!

ZAC: Well, we were home schooled too, which is interesting.

ROBIN: That’s right.

HOWARD: Who home schooled you, your mom?

ZAC: Our mom.

HOWARD: No kidding.

ROBIN: So, you never got out the house, no wonder you joined a band!

ISAAC: It was the only way for us to get out of the house!

HOWARD: Are your parents still married?

TAYLOR: Yeah, they’re still married.

HOWARD: It's a healthy relationship right?

ZAC: Pretty healthy, yeah.

HOWARD: What did they do with all the money? You guys sold something like 16, 17 million? More? 25 million. How many albums did you sell?

TAYLOR: We sold 15 million.

HOWARD: 15 million. So there's got to be some dough hanging around somewhere.

ISAAC: There is.

ZAC: Well, we've been lucky. We can survive.

HOWARD: How did that work out? In other words, where did all the money go? In a separate account?

TAYLOR: To be honest, I know our parents were so freaked out that everybody was going to be like, “Okay, here's the stage parents…” like, going to do the classic thing that they were really conservative when we were too young to really manage it.

ZAC: They did the opposite. They put it like, all in bonds.

HOWARD: Good! So there is… so in other words, you guys don't have to work the rest of your lives, do you?

ROBIN: So, all the money is there?

TAYLOR: Well, except for the money that we've thrown and we started our own record company, so we're spending money on that.

HOWARD: Is that wise to do? Start your own record company?

ZAC: No, not at all.

HOWARD: I mean, why? Why risk your own funds?

ZAC: Why? Cos the music industry is like the worst industry to be in, period.

TAYLOR: You know, but honestly Howard? It's kind of like you being here. It’s Sirius. It's like the decision to be in control and to know your audience. I mean, that's what it was.

HOWARD: I mean how do you promote your music then? And doesn't the record company go out and get you on radio and all that?

ZAC: We get on Howard Stern.

HOWARD: That's true, that will sell enough records.

ZAC: That will sell enough records to keep us going.

TAYLOR: I'm sure what we said was we're not going to do anything else except we’re going to focus on getting on Howard Stern.

ZAC: We wanna be the (?) band.

ROBIN: Well, wait a minute. You bring up a point. Because they were a young band. You had a record label. You were on a record label and you had, you know, a great deal of success and then what happened?

TAYLOR: Well, basically Universal and Polygram became one snd we were part of a complete… basically a clusterfuck of labels that were forming together. I mean, you've seen… like basically that was the biggest merger ever. We went from Mercury Records, which is this classic, kind of rock & roll label to a rap label.

ZAC: To Island Def Jam.

TAYLOR: So, we were like, “I don't see Hanson/Def Jam working.”

HOWARD: And you were like kids so they tried to force feed what you should put out and…

ZAC: Definitely, there was some of that. We made a documentary about our last record, not the record that's coming out now but the one before it where we left our label and it, it kind of shows people that all the crap you go through. It's not even force-feeding. It's just the fact that right now in the music industry nobody knows what the hell they're doing. And you've got these A&R people who are supposed to be, you know, keeping your project going and they're just jerking you around.

HOWARD: Why didn't you try doing gangsta rap? Certainly you boys could do that, no?

ISAAC: You know with the whole… (Isaac beat boxes)

TAYLOR: Yeah exactly... we’d just do the beat boxing.

JIMMY: I can't believe this kid is six years old, it's unbelievable!

ROBIN: He’s very mature for a six year old!

HOWARD: Now here's something I was surprised to learn. All three of you are married.

ROBIN: Yeah, I remember when they started getting married. You were in your—one of you was still in your teens, right?

HOWARD: You were married when you were a teenager?

TAYLOR: I got married… well you have to think about this. Like we just said, we started playing when we were really, really young. Honestly, I would have never said that I was going to get married young but when you're 19 or whatever and you've been doing your career thing for almost 10 years already, you're completely different headspace than most 19 year olds.

HOWARD: No you're not, you think you are. You'll be divorced in a few years. Trust me. All of you.

TAYLOR: I've been married for five years.

HOWARD: You have been married five years?

TAYLOR: And I have three kids.

HOWARD: You have three kids?!

ROBIN: They started doing everything.

TAYLOR: Hey, what can you say?

HOWARD: Now did you get married?

TAYLOR: We are certifiable.

HOWARD: You guys are super religious right? You are born again types? Right?

TAYLOR: We've all grown up in church.

HOWARD: In church.

ROBIN: I was surprised to hear you curse just a second ago.

JIMMY: Yeah, me too. I was shocked.

HOWARD: I was a little shocked too.

ISAAC: What do you mean?!

HOWARD: But here's the thing. You're super religious and this and that. So you're probably encouraged to get married young.

ROBIN: Did you have premarital sex?

HOWARD: Did you have premarital sex?

ISAAC: Well, my kid was born 7 months after I got married. So…

ROBIN: Oh okay, so you did.

TAYLOR: Mine was born four.

HOWARD: So, you boys do have premarital sex? Did you bang any other chicks besides your wife?

TAYLOR: You know what? I made one promise to my wife that said we wouldn't talk about that particular thing.

HOWARD: Did you have a sex life before your wife? Because I'm worried about that. You didn’t?

TAYLOR: No.

HOWARD: It's un-fucking-believable!

JIMMY: MMMBop!

HOWARD: “MMMBop” is right. I'm worried about you. If I was your father I'd sit you down and say listen, “I know, I got married young…”

TAYLOR: Yeah.

HOWARD: “…you know there are things to experience in life.”

TAYLOR: yeah

HOWARD: Five years nothing, ten years nothing, fifteen freaking years you're still going to be a young man and you're never going to have any other poontang.

TAYLOR: Yeah, that's true.

HOWARD: You don't look at other women?

TAYLOR: Dude, are you kidding? Of course everybody…

HOWARD: You're surrounded. You're good looking boys.

TAYLOR: Thank you. You know, the thing is… honestly it's we've just… everybody’s got their own…

HOWARD: Zac, how old are you?

ZAC: 21.

HOWARD: 21, when did you get married?

ZAC: Um, last year.

HOWARD: Last year… 20 years old.

ROBIN: Yeah.

JIMMY: Yeah, I did that.

HOWARD: I’m going to smack you right in the head.

ROBIN: Where do you meet these girls?

ISAAC: Backstage.

ZAC: In the south.

ROBIN: At the shows, ohhhhh…

HOWARD: Are they super hot?

ISAAC: Yeah.

ZAC: Yeah.

JIMMY: You know when they’re going to fuck a lot of chicks is before they marry their second wives.

ROBIN: That's right, between the first and the second wife. They’ll make up for lost time.

ZAC: According to Howard we're not going to have that problem because clearly we're all going to be divorced in a couple years, maybe tomorrow.

HOWARD: You guys think you know everything. Trust me.

JIMMY: I got married at 20.

HOWARD: Jimmy's divorced. I met my first wife 19 years old. I've been through it.

TAYLOR: Yeah. Well, how long were you married Howard? How long were you married?

HOWARD: What?

TAYLOR: How long were you married?

HOWARD: Uh…

ROBIN: 20 years.

TAYLOR: That's great. That's better than…

HOWARD: And listen, I'm just saying it's too young to make that kind of decision.

TAYLOR: That's amazing that you did 20 years.

HOWARD: It is amazing.

ROBIN: Is that what you're shooting for?

HOWARD: You shooting for a good 20? 20 you can do. That I understand.

TAYLOR: But it's better than the average…

HOWARD: Zac, you didn’t have pre marital sex?

ZAC: Uh, no.

HOWARD: And you didn't and this is the first girl you ever had?

ZAC: Mmhmm.

JIMMY: No, no.

HOWARD: You've never had sex with a different woman?

ZAC: Nuh-uh.

HOWARD: You've got to be shitting me!

ROBIN: How far did you get? I mean what would you do before you uh…

HOWARD: What's the rules on you religious guys? I'm going to tell you what I read about religious guys. Can I tell you something? These kids now who take the vow of chastity until…

ZAC: You know, we're not one of “those” kids.

HOWARD: But listen to this, they're saying those people who hold out for marriage have more STDs than the ones that don't. Cos you know what? They end up banging in the ass.

ROBIN: Ooooh!

HOWARD: I can say that, you boys are big.

TAYLOR: The thing is, it's not a religious… like someone has some… It's just a personal…

HOWARD: You guys are nice boys I like that. I understand you're not out banging everything that walks. I respect that but you should bang a few things. As long as it’s not my kids.

ISAAC: As long as they’re not yours.

HOWARD: But anal is allowed before marriage, right? So what is your rule? What is your rule?

ZAC: I didn't have a rule. I just didn't really feel…

HOWARD: Kissing is okay, right?

ROBIN: Sure.

ZAC: Yeah.

HOWARD: Feeling the titties, no problem, over or under the shirt?

ISAAC: Sure. All of that.

HOWARD: All of that, that's okay?

ISAAC: Sure, why not?

TAYLOR: You know what it is… it’s… its personal.

HOWARD: Could you get your finger wet? I can talk to Zac, he's 21!

ZAC: It's just a personal preference.

HOWARD: No, I understand. But could you get your finger wet before you get married? I'm asking your personal rule. I understand it's a choice.

ZAC: Um, what I decided to do?

HOWARD: Yes.

ZAC: No.

HOWARD: Didn't get your finger wet?

JIMMY: What about your foot?

ZAC: I did swim, I have done swimming.

HOWARD: It was okay to kiss, it was okay to touch the titties, but not to get the fingers, not to go below the waist. Am I correct?

ISAAC: I mean, I don't know where he got that rule from.

HOWARD: I know.

ISAAC: What I'm saying is…

HOWARD: It's from hanging around with you two!

ISAAC: What I’m saying is... I don't think anybody, I don't think any of us really thought about it that way. Nobody was going like--

HOWARD: Zac's a really good kid.

ROBIN: We can't talk to you, you went all the way!

HOWARD: He's like Jesus.

ROBIN: You went all the way, we're not talking to you.

HOWARD: Yeah, you're dirty.

JIMMY: You're the bad one.

HOWARD: Zac, you're like Jesus. You're good looking guy and you turned down the broads.

ZAC: Technically, I don't think we know if Jesus was good looking or not. We don’t know if he was black or…

HOWARD: No, no. He was white guy, he had a beard, I’ve seen pictures.

JIMMY: People follow him around

TAYLOR: So, you don't believe the guys on the street corner?

HOWARD: Noooo, get out of here with that are you kidding? You've seen the pictures of Jesus. He looked like a swimmer.

TAYLOR: He was definitely a swimmer. He’s probably an Olympian.

JIMMY: This is weird. I got married that young because I was certain I would not be able to find another good looking girl to have sex with me.

HOWARD: Me too.

JIMMY: Look at these three guys!

ROBIN: These guys knew there were other girls out there.

HOWARD: They’re rock stars!

ZAC: I don't understand this, we are not that good looking.

JIMMY: Oh no, you are.

HOWARD: Look at us then look at you.

ZAC: Good looking, I hate that.

HOWARD: Here's the deal: you can get a lot of women. You got the music, you guys are talented.

JIMMY: If they didn't play a lick of music they'd get girls, look at them.

ROBIN: They were singing and the girls were screaming.

HOWARD: You never banged a Playboy playmate or anything?

ZAC: No.

TAYLOR: You know what Howard, honestly? In all truth, every guy—you're a guy it's like the Wayne’s World thing, “schwing schwing.” You see women you're attracted to but we just… everybody had… that's just who we are. And for that matter, none of us… like every guy had their own thing. Nobody was looking at the other guy…

JIMMY: Do you go to internet porn? Do you look up pornography on the internet? Do you guys beat off to porn?

TAYLOR: I try not to.

HOWARD: But you do.

TAYLOR: Yeah.

ROBIN: But you fail?

JIMMY: Why try not to?!

ZAC: What’s the statistic? 90% of men say that they masturbate. But 10% say that they don't but they’re lying about it.

HOWARD: Isaac, you beat off, right?

ISAAC: Yeah.

HOWARD: You seem to be real honest.

JIMMY: “MMMBop” is about beating off.

ROBIN: “MMMBop!”

ISAAC: Yes, yes, exactly. You’re totally right!

HOWARD: Is it about beating off?

ZAC: No. It's actually very serious, strangely. It’s a very serious song.

JIMMY: What’s more serious than beating off?

HOWARD: Wait, let me get back to you. You grew up in famous, good looking.

ZAC: Right.

ROBIN: RICH!

HOWARD: Where did you meet this broad you married? Honestly?

ZAC: I met her at a concert.

HOWARD: At a concert. She was a fan?

ZAC: We did a thing for Macy’s and she was modeling for that and somebody who worked for us…

HOWARD: So she's a hot chick, there's no question. I understand that. And you're going out and she's probably saying, “Hey listen man, I want it. Give it to me.”

ROBIN: Yeah, she didn't understand these rules, did she?

HOWARD: You're like the chick, you're holding out. You’re like, “No, no, no, no, no, I'm serious about you.”

ROBIN: Running away from her.

TAYLOR: She's a southern girl dude, she's got… she actually has integrity.

ZAC: She’s a southern belle. You don't understand the south if you're saying that about a woman from Atlanta.

HOWARD: I'm just trying to understand. So did you have like, wicked blue balls every time you're around this chick? Or did you beat off at home? What did you do to get through this? This is incredible.

TAYLOR: It's a talent, you know.

ROBIN: How long did you know her?

ZAC: She's a couple years older, she's two years older than I am. Yeah, we dated for five years.

ROBIN: Five years.

HOWARD: Five years? You never went below the waist, you made out with her?

ZAC: Yeah.

HOWARD: And you get a wicked boner and what'd you do, you ran home and beat off right?

JIMMY: No way.

HOWARD: Do you go home and pray? I mean what the hell do you do?

JIMMY: Do you play wiffle ball?

HOWARD: I gotta know about you!

ISAAC: No, praying doesn’t solve that problem.

TAYLOR: Howard’s actually curious… “What did you do, cos I want to know!”

HOWARD: You drained it.

ZAC: Yeah.

HOWARD: You drained your lizard.

TAYLOR: It’s a siphon.

JIMMY: While your brothers were impregnating their future brides and you were not having sex?

ROBIN: He was the only one, yeah.

HOWARD: This is unbelievable. Hey Zac, could you dry hump her? Like let's say you were on a date and you’re in your car, can you just get on top of her and thrust? Like against her? And do it that way?

TAYLOR: Howard, you're completely missing the point.

HOWARD: What am I missing?

TAYLOR: The point is that it's not about… nobody set a set of rules, he just…

ROBIN: We were asking Zac what he did.

HOWARD: We just asked Zac what he did! Were you trying to dry hump?

ZAC: He's just trying to get literal. “On May 4th, 19…”

HOWARD: Would you ever… isn't that a leap of faith, like how do you know you're going to be sexually compatible even with your wife? Like the wedding night is like, “Shit, what if we don't dig each other?”

JIMMY: What happened on that wedding night?

ROBIN: That's what they call annulment.

ZAC: Lot's of good stuff.

HOWARD: Yeah? How many times did you get off on your wedding night? How many times? Did you guys just bone the second the ceremony ended?

ROBIN: How long were you away? Like a month?

HOWARD: Very romantic.

ZAC: We actually just got back!

Taylor: Yeah, Zac’s been gone for like the last year or so.

ZAC: They made the record without me.

JIMMY: How many minutes was your cock actually outside of her?

HOWARD: And your girlfriend was a virgin too?

ZAC: Yes.

HOWARD: She was?

ZAC: Yes.

JIMMY: Oh my goodness.

ZAC: Like I said, she's a southern woman.

JIMMY: After the first time you had sex was there a moment where you went, “Why the fuck didn't I do this sooner?”

ZAC: Honestly, I know this sounds bad but I said, “Why the fuck have we been making such a big deal about this in our culture?” I mean it's great, yes, but it's made to be so glorified.

JIMMY: So, you prefer masturbation?

ZAC: No. I'm saying that I think sex is awesome, but…

HOWARD: No offense, you might be gay.

ZAC: I'm not, trust me. I am not gay. What I'm saying is like we glorify it to such an extent. It’s incredible. It’s this awesome thing, but it's on like every billboard, it's on every TV show…

HOWARD: You're goddamn right.

ZAC: It's like, girls! I agree! No, look: I'm totally… I am like not straight (whoops) whatever…

JIMMY: You're not straight?

ROBIN: You're not straight?

HOWARD: All right, that's what I thought.

ZAC: I don't know, sex is an awesome thing, but…

HOWARD: Zac, can I tell you something. I had a buddy. We were in college. Gets into this girl’s pants, long story short turns out she's a freak! He can't get his penis in her, tries as can be. You know what I'm talking about?

ZAC: Sure.

HOWARD: Okay.

ROBIN: It's the desert!

HOWARD: He gets in there and he comes home and he says, “Take a look at my penis.” Now, listen to this. He shows it to me, it’s black and blue. That's how much work he had to do to get into this chick.

TAYLOR: That's a problem.

HOWARD: Can I tell you something? What if on your wedding night you get there. Who knows, she locks up on you? Whatever, she's got a psychological problem with sex.

ZAC: Right.

HOWARD: Turns out she's even a lesbo and you didn't even realize it. She didn’t even realize it.

TAYLOR: If you're trying to figure out whether she's a lesbian by whether you can get it on with her literally then you're completely going down the wrong path.

HOWARD: You think so?

TAYLOR: Believe me, you can figure that out without having to actually take her.

HOWARD: You boys are weird. Your parents did a good job with you boys. I've never met boys like you.

TAYLOR: Yeah, we're just guys who…

HOWARD: You know why I like you boys? You're not like a Paris Hilton type. Like you got famous and you didn't turn into complete morons. In fact, you almost went the other way.

ROBIN: Most guys like you turn into jerks!

HOWARD: Do you have any brothers and sisters?

ISAAC: All I have to say is Fuck you guys! Come on, geez!

HOWARD: No come on, do you guys have any brothers and sisters?

ZAC: Yeah there's actually four underneath the three of us.

ROBIN: Oh you're kidding?

HOWARD: But they’re not talented?

ZAC: No, not at all.

JIMMY: Probably jugglers or something. They can probably fart at will.

JIMMY: Are they all ugly?

ZAC: We’re all ugly! Utterly disfigured.

JIMMY: You guys can't find broads to fuck you in Atlanta, ask the Falcons and the Hawks where to find them.

ISAAC: No dude, it's not a matter of finding them. It's a matter of wanting them.

HOWARD: And your parents like you three the best out of all of the kids, right?

ISAAC: Uhhh no.

ZAC: Of course.

HOWARD: I would.

ZAC: I don't know.

ISAAC: I'd have to ask them.

ZAC: We're pretty nice.

TAYLOR: We bring nice gifts every Mother’s Day.

ROBIN: What do the other kids do, they just sit around living off the fat of the land?

ZAC: Well the oldest… it's 18 and 16 and 13 and 9. So, they’re all pretty young. Most people, even in our family, aren't as crazy as we were to start being a band when they were that young.

JIMMY: They'd probably be doing the same thing I'd being doing, 400 lbs sitting by a pool on Tuesday afternoon at 2 o’clock and someone says, “What do you do?” “I don't do nothing, my brother wrote that song MMMBop!”

HOWARD: I’ll tell you, in my family I have a sister.

TAYLOR: Okay…

HOWARD: …and my parents have totally forgotten her.

ISAAC: That sucks for her.

ZAC: She probably has some real psychological problems.

HOWARD: I'm famous. I'm the favorite child.

TAYLOR: are you in touch with her?

HOWARD: Of course I'm in touch with her.

ROBIN: You like to remind her too.

HOWARD: I call her up and I go, “Ha ha ha ha ha I'm the favorite!”

TAYLOR: Is she the older sister?

HOWARD: Yes, no I’m kidding.

TAYLOR: So she beat you?

HOWARD: I send her all my clippings, let her read her heart out.

JIMMY: She doesn't have his main number but they're in touch.

HOWARD: Boys, you got a little song for us today.

TAYLOR: I think we're going to play a couple, yeah, right?

HOWARD: Yeah.

TAYLOR: Or whatever you guys want.

HOWARD: Well, first of all, Gary was telling me you guys had a couple of things planned but you did “Long Train Runnin” and “Never Been To Spain.” I don’t know “Never Been To Spain.” What is that?

TAYLOR: It's a classic Three Dog Night song. “Well I’ve never been to Spain…” (sings)

ROBIN: I didn't know that was the name of it.

ROBIN: “But I’ve been to Oklahoma” and all of that?

HOWARD: You wanna do the song now?

TAYLOR: Sure, yeah.

HOWARD: What do you want to do? “Long Train Runnin’” or you want to do “Never Been To Spain?”

ZAC: I think “Never Been To Spain” is probably a little better.

HOWARD: “Never Been To Spain.” All right, alright, here's the boys Hanson and by the way they have a single out, “Blue Sky.” I have that, I'll play that in a minute.

ROBIN: Do they still get along or do they fight you know? You know some brothers fight all the time.

HOWARD: These guys are perfect, they’re not even banging chicks.

ISAAC: We are hardly perfect.

HOWARD: Hanson’s new album The Walk is featuring the single “Great Divide.” It's in stores July 24th. So, you guys have your own record company?

TAYLOR: Yep.

HOWARD: And then what you do is you get a distributor I guess and he gets it in all the stores?

TAYLOR: Yep.

ROBIN: And you go on tour right?

TAYLOR: Yeah, we tour all over the place. ADA is our distributor. Great distribution.

HOWARD: And Hanson has a website, hanson.net, and I guess that's all you need to know. They are going to do a live thing here. They've got an acoustic guitar, a little keyboard. What is that, a bongo of some sort?

ZAC: It’s a jimbay, (sp) technically.

TAYLOR: Technically. Technically speaking.

HOWARD: Jimmy, you're a jimbay fan or no?

JIMMY: I have a couple jimbays.

HOWARD: I like the way they look.

JIMMY: Jimbay makes you sterile.

ISAAC: He likes to beat them.

ZAC: Apparently.

ISAAC: Over and over and over again.

HOWARD: You guys do real good harmonies and stuff. That’s, you know, you don't see a lot of that anymore. Nobody harmonizes. You know what I mean?

TAYLOR: Honestly there aren't very many bands that sing and play at the same time.

ZAC: It’s hard to compare ourselves I think to many bands just because there isn't a lot of that.

ROBIN: But also sibling harmonies are usually a lot different than just regular people harmonizing.

ISAAC: It also helps that we've been singing together for 15 years.

HOWARD: Yeah, like I always like Crosby Stills and Nash. Nobody does any of their songs anymore. You know that kind of stuff?

ISAAC: We do that stuff.

HOWARD: Yeah, yeah, that's good. All right. And when you watch American Idol do you kind of laugh at that? Because…

TAYLOR: I love what you're supporting the Sanjaya thing because I think ultimately, I've been talking to different people about it and I think in the end it's going to be that that the worst one really does win and it's going to turn into that and they won't be able to stop it.

HOWARD: Right.

TAYLOR: Because ultimately it is just about the kind of shock and awe, you know, like the whole Will Hung thing.

ZAC: It's not about talent, it’s about entertainment.

TAYLOR: There are some talented people that have won.

ISAAC: Actually, a fellow Oklahoman Carrie Underwood.

ROBIN: Yeah, she's tearing up the country charts.

HOWARD: All right, so here's Hanson, and as I said hanson.net for more information and the new album’s in stores, it's going in July 24th. All right! Here's Hanson!

TAYLOR: A song called “Never Been To Spain.” Classic.

NEVER BEEN TO SPAIN

HOWARD: Nice job, boys! Very nice! That's good man, when you can just kind of do that kind of stuff.

JIMMY: You guys could have gotten so laid with that.

ISAAC: Hey, well you know...

JIMMY: What a waste.

HOWARD: What a waste.

ISAAC: No, I get laid a lot actually.

JIMMY: You know what I mean.

HOWARD: You know what we're talking about.

ZAC: You hold the guitar and we can play behind you.

TAYLOR: We should work that out.

JIMMY: Where were you 20 years ago, where were you?

HOWARD: Did you think when you got married at 19 that you had it all figured out too? Like didn't you think, “Well yeah of course it's going to last forever.”

JIMMY: No, uh I didn't know what I was doing.

ROBIN: He didn't know anything.

TAYLOR: He said, “I do not know what I'm doing.”

JIMMY: If I was Hanson I would have known.

ROBIN: I was thinking of the Kobe Bryant thing, you know? We were talking to Magic Johnson just before Kobe got married and he said, “Every one of us has tried to sit him down and tell him!” But you can’t tell a 19 year old who’s making hundreds of millions of dollars.

HOWARD: Mel, you’re on the air.

MEL: Hey Howard, good morning. Hey listen, these guys were really annoying, but they were getting under my skin, but they sound awesome, man.

HOWARD: Very talented boys.

ROBIN: They’re good musicians.

HOWARD: They were annoying you *laughs* Cos they didn’t get any pussy?

MEL: No, they was just, you know like they were going to enlighten us with how to get pussy and this and that.

ROBIN: No! What are you talking about?

HOWARD: No, they’re very opposite that. All right, well, thank you.

ROBIN: You know, sometimes you worry cos the people don’t understand the conversations.

TAYLOR: That was actually kind of entertaining.

HOWARD: Well, the bottom line is, he liked your music. Do you do “Long Train Runnin?” Do you want to try it? I didn’t know if you guys were up—I would like to hear it.

TAYLOR: Actually, right before we walked in somebody was like, “I take it you guys might do more than a couple songs,” and we’re like, “Well, we should work on ‘Long Train Runnin’” so we had to print out the lyrics so we’d remember them.

HOWARD: Oh okay, do you have the lyrics? Do you need them?

TAYLOR: We’ve played this tune, yeah.

JIMMY: Zac has to go masturbate. *laughs*

ZAC: Ahh, that was good.

TAYLOR: That’s like, fart humor. That’s like, the same equivalent of a 5 year old that’s like, “Hey, poop!”

JIMMY: Yeah, well. I’ve made a lot of money from that though.

ROBIN: Yeah, Jimmy’s not at all that sophisticated.

ZAC: Poop is highly entertaining.

TAYLOR: It’s one of those things that never gets old no matter how…

ZAC: He meant that in a good way.

HOWARD: Zac, let me ask you a question. How many times did you get on with your wife on your wedding night?

ZAC: Um, how many times…?

HOWARD: Was it like, 5?

ZAC: Yeah.

JIMMY: It was exactly 5?

ZAC: I’m not going to divulge exactly, but it was…

HOWARD: Why is that?

ZAC: I don’t know, it’s a respect thing to my wife.

TAYLOR: He wants to stay married.

ZAC: It’s a respect thing to my life. She asked me not to divulge that.

HOWARD: You actually respect your wife?

ZAC: I do respect my life. She’s far more talented than I am.

JIMMY: You’re making us feel bad about ourselves; I’ll be honest with you.

HOWARD: You seem a little too perfect.

ZAC: No, it’s just… whatever. Fuck it.

JIMMY: I wish I could adopt you.

ZAC: Everybody’s got their own preference. I’m not telling everybody, “Don’t have premarital sex.” I’m just saying, I didn’t. And that seemed like the right thing to do for me.

ROBIN: We will be watching you to see if this thing works out.

HOWARD: You boys smoke a little weed or a little heroin, what do you do?

TAYLOR: Yeah, we’ve definitely smoked… but we’re more tobacco things.

ISAAC: I’m more of a cigar, cigarettes…

ZAC: There’s a terribly story, Ike lost his mind smoking weed in Amsterdam. He smoked an AK-47 and you’re like, “Ike, do you not expect to lose your mind when you’re drinking something…?”

ISAAC: It was liquor and an assault riffle, I had no idea it was hash. I’m not a pot guy. I just, I don’t really like the stuff particularly and I was like, “Oh, what the hell?” I was always kind of like, “I like whisky, I like stuff like that, I like red wine, I’m an alcohol guy if I’m going to have anything…”

TAYLOR: The dark stuff.

ISAAC: Yeah, the dark stuff. None of the green stuff.

HOWARD: So, weed makes me paranoid.

ISAAC: Paranoid is one word.

HOWARD: Jimmy, you should never try marijuana.

JIMMY: I shouldn’t?

HOWARD: No, because it would make you paranoid. Jimmy will never touch drugs.

ROBIN: Jimmy looks like he’s on drugs right now.

HOWARD: Oh, I’m sure he is. Well, how about some “Long Train Runnin?” Come on, boys! All right, Hanson here celebrating their new album.

TAYLOR: …by playing songs from the 60s!

HOWARD: Why not?

ISAAC: And the 70s.

HOWARD: It’s a joy. We like that.

ISAAC: Okay, here we go.

“LONG TRAIN RUNNIN”

HOWARD: Nice job, boys! Very good! You guys are…

ROBIN: Now your voices have changed a lot, can you guys still do “MMMBop” or do you have to do it in a different key?

TAYLOR: Oh yeah, it’s a different key. I mean, it was 10 years ago. It’s been 10 years.

HOWARD: These guys have hair on their balls now.

ROBIN: Well also, you guys got through puberty and your voices changed in a good way.

HOWARD: You got good. You guys have a lot of talent there, I’m going to sign you up.

?: Hey, do you guys take requests?

ROBIN: Play some Skinner!

TAYLOR: No, no, not Skinner. This is from the 60s. the house next to me’s been sold…

ROBIN: Ooh, will you stop it?

HOWARD: These are young boys!

?: The house next to me…

ROBIN: Oh, be quiet. We don’t want to know about the house next to you!

HOWARD: Hey, guys. You know, I was just wondering. I just read in the paper that J Lo got like, $1.5 million to show up at a private party to play for like, an hour. Do you guys ever get that kind of deal going on? do you ever go to someone’s house?

ISAAC: We’ve had some really god paying gigs, not quite that… of course, I don’t know why the hell someone would pay that much to see her lip synch. Honestly. That’s frickin’ retarded.

TAYLOR: Ike, it’s not about the lip synching. Believe me.

ZAC: It’s about the J Loooo.

ISAAC: There’s not always room for J Lo.

HOWARD: I tried. Well boys, it’s a pleasure to have you on the show. And congratulations on your ne album The Walk featuring the single “Great Divide” in stores July 24th and you can go to hanson.net. And you guys got real talent, I wish you luck with your own record company. You guys sign other people or just do your own thing?

TAYLOR: Not yet but we definitely will. That’s—we love music, so.

HOWARD: Your parents socked away a ton of dough for you, so you’re all set that way, right?

ISAAC: Yeah, yeah.

TAYLOR: Luckily they didn’t screw us over.

HOWARD: How big are your houses? Square feet?

ZAC: Not big. 1100.

HOWARD: 1100 square feet?!

TAYLOR: Well, he…

ZAC: An apartment.

HOWARD: Oh, an apartment.

ZAC: Yeah. It’s not that big! I don’t need that much space.

HOWARD: Everybody—and now you have your money under your own name, it’s not…

ISAAC: It was always under our name from the beginning.

HOWARD: Three way split.

ZAC: Thankfully our dad was an accountant…

HOWARD: And he saved it all?

ROBIN: Now, when they’re working is there a leader or is it democracy totally, or what’s going on?

ISAAC: We try to keep it generally as a democracy… sometimes…

ZAC: Yeah, I don’t know. You know…

HOWARD: You been on Jimmy’s show yet?

ZAC: Yeah, we have been on Jimmy’s show.

HOWARD: Jimmy treat you good?

ZAC: We’d go back on Jimmy’s show.

JIMMY: You guys can come back. You were good, I like you.

TAYLOR: You, actually—with the stage in the back is really great cos you can play a few tunes. It’s actually fun to go on.

ISAAC: That was one of the best—that was actually the best musical performance show as far as isolated to music particularly.

ISAAC: Well, it’s not isolated so much, guys.

ROBIN: It’s not a great show, but it’s good for music!

ISAAC: No, as far as performance wise.

JIMMY: Well, you guys come back. Your room’s gonna be loaded with hookers.

HOWARD: Yeah, seduce these boys.

JIMMY: Your green room is going to be…

HOWARD: Get Sarah in there, she knows what to do. Teddy in Chicago, you’re on the air. Go ahead.

TEDDY: Hey Hanson, big fan, you have this great song “This Time Around,” which is a great song.

TAYLOR: Thanks.

ISAAC: Oh, thanks.

TEDDY: I got to party with these guys in Chicago and let me tell you, these guys party hard backstage.

HOWARD: What do you mean?

TEDDY: Backstage, they’re breaking chairs, throwing pizza…

HOWARD: Is that true? You trash your rooms?

ISAAC: We’ve had our moments.

JIMMY: Throwing pizza?!

TAYLOR: It’s out of control, yeah.

ISAAC: It was more like a giant cake.

HOWARD: All right, why would somebody throw pizza?

JIMMY: That’s such a waste.

ARTIE: They’re not fucking chicks, they’re not eating pizza…

HOWARD: This is everything you’re not about!

ROBIN: They’re screwed up like that, they don’t now what things are for!

HOWARD: That’s what happens when there’s no pussy. They start throwing pizza.

ZAC: You can just come with us and you can do all the things we’re not doing.

TAYLOR: We’ll just keep you there, you’ll be like a garbage disposal, like, “Oh crap, throw it over there!”

ARTIE: That’s exactly what I am, a garbage disposal.

HOWARD: Boys, thank you for coming in today, I really appreciate it. We’re going to move along. That’s Hanson. And go to hanson.net if you want more information on the new album, if you want to hear music and stuff like that, okay? And that’s it. I mean, what can I say, boys? You did a good job here.

ISAAC: Thank you very much.

TAYLOR: Thanks for having us.