PAST APPEARANCES Much on Demand
Toronto, Canada
21 May 2004ED THE SOCK: So this week I was told that I get to interview the Hanson brothers, and I thought, “Great! They guys from Slap Shot!” But sadly, it turned out to be that home-schooled boy band that years ago came out with “MMMBop.” The song that never leaves your freakin’ head. See, I just said “MMMBop” and now that I’ve said it, it’s going to bounce around in your head all freakin’ weekend. All right, so we met and uh, there was a bit of tension.
AMANDA: Really?
ED: Yea, I think you could say that, why don’t we take a look…
ED: All right, here I am with my new buddies Hanson, How you doing fellas?
ISAAC: Hey we’re doing pretty good.
ZAC: We’re good man.
ED: Now, you guys have been around for a while, this is the first time we’ve spoken and only because I’ve only now forgiven you for “MMMBop.”
ISAAC: Well…
TAYLOR: Well I’m barely forgiving you for that haircut.
ED: What the heck is wrong with my haircut?!
TAYLOR: Have you seen it recently?
ZAC: It’s green.
ED: Look at you! Keith Partridge, shut the heck up! And don’t you start Ike, that’s a nice tie, they may come back yet. You guys are now on your own, you’re doing your own things. How important is it for you guys to have credibility? Cos you know, a lot of people, they sell 8 million albums, they give you album 2, which is album 1 again, they just changed some of the lyrics. You guys want to grow and progress; what the heck has gotten into you?
ISAAC: Well, we’re smoking a cigar.
ZAC: I think it’s the tape worms maybe.
ISAAC: And the cig… yeah the tape worms.
ED: Oh wow.
TAYLOR: They get into your brain.
ED: I’m not taking you out to a buffet. How come you haven’t, like, hooked up with any famous, you know, singing females or any thing like that?
ISAAC: Well we have, you just don’t know about it.
ZAC: Ohhh…
ED: In other words, you have but it’s been nothing so much to talk about.
ZAC: Yeah, that’s exactly what he said.
ED: Starting to wonder what I’m looking for…
ISAAC: Well, you well, you know, that’s not what she said, but…
ED: Yeah well, you didn’t hear what she said to me when she called me afterwards crying… “that’s so small!”
ISAAC: Well, I wouldn’t be, I wouldn’t be talking, you’re not exactly very tall yourself.
TAYLOR: You know…
ED: Hey, hey, hey. I got no arms and no legs but I got a foot. You guys were home-schooled right?
ISAAC: Yes.
ZAC: Yeah.
ED: So your prom must have sucked.
ZAC: I think Ike is getting a sex change tomorrow.
ISAAC: Yeah, that’s going to be weird.
ZAC: This is the last time you’ll see him like this.
ISAAC: Yeah, exactly.
ZAC: All this, all this crazy stuff is going on.
ED: Well, all things considered, I don’t seem too disappointed. I’m just surprised that Ike’s getting the sex change, cos Taylor, you look like your closer to the fairer sex.
TAYLOR: Uh, that’s, I have no words…
ED: You’ve got that baby face.
TAYLOR: I have no words to say about that.
ED: Good album by the way.
HANSON: Thanks.
ED: I’m glad to talk to people that actually give a damn about their music, instead of just about being on calendars and crap like that.
TAYLOR: And being on shows with sock people.
ED: Shut the heck up Taylor! I was being nice for four seconds.
TAYLOR: I, I gotcha man.
ED: I’m going to say goodbye to these guys now. Cos there’s an obvious tension growing here. Good luck with the tour, and good luck with the operation Ike.
ISAAC: Thank you.
ED: All right, hey, if you, whatever they remove, that you could sell on eBay. Formaldehyde my friend, Formaldehyde. See ya later.
ED: Yeah, that was it, Hanson.
AMANDA: What I like about these guys, Ed is, is even when they were talking to you and the tension was building, they never stopped smiling.
ED: Yeah, I know, I think they’re drones.
AMANDA: Really?
ED: Or some kind of pre-programmed clones, I don’t think they’re for real. They’re like fembots, but male. [laughs] Except for Taylor, who’s got kind of a female fembots hair. [crowd booo’s]
AMANDA: Whooo. Oh.
ED: Oh yeah, yeah. Kiss my ass all of you.
AMANDA: You’re a little more angry than usual tonight. Is that possible?
ED: What do you mean? Look at me, I’m smiling.
AMANDA: Maybe you and Hanson have more in common than you think.
ED: Cos I’m smiling, and Hanson always smiles?
AMANDA: Well, that and you head is also…
ED: [sings] “Mmmbop da da da mmmbop…”
AMANDA: Laughs. I’ll play Zac.
ED: What a piece of crap that was.
AMANDA: Did you notice, was it me or, I like them, but umm their umm large heads…
ED: They do have large heads.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ED: Almost like, what was that cartoon, The Fairly Odd Parents or something like that. They look kind of odd. There’s something strange about them, like almost like potato head consistency.
AMANDA: Oh no…
ED: Yeah, like their limbs didn’t fully grow properly.
AMANDA: Oh no, I shouldn’t have started this.
ED: Hey, you did start it.
AMANDA: I know.
ED: Yeah.
AMANDA: They were nice when they were on the show though. I think they liked you.
ED: Who isn’t nice to you, whose ever been not nice to you? You see. They’re all hoping to get your phone number.
AMANDA: No shut up. Whoops, I don’t know if that warranted a cheer.
ED: By the way, I have it, and I’ll be selling it on eBay.
AMANDA: Oh great.
ED: Okay, that’s it.
AMANDA: That’s it? Nice to see you again though…
ED: Nice to see you too. I’m out of here. Have a good long weekend everybody.
AMANDA: You too, we’ll see you soon.
typed up by Suzanna
edited by Heidi (me)
please do not reproduce or repost without permission.